Kolkata To-Eat List

Mom's fish curry

Kookie Jar pastries and chicken envelopes

Flury's tea and pineapple pudding cake

Bengal Club Chinese food

Tangra Chinese food

Nizam rolls

CCFC onion pakoras

Tea at the Oxford Cha Bar

Coffee at the Gurusaday Road Barista for old time's sake

Colour no Bar

For the longest time, I hated the colour brown. I would never ever wear anything that was brown, or use that colour on anything unless that was its natural colour. To me, brown meant dull, it meant boring, it meant ugly. My autobiography was going to be titled Brown is not my Colour.

However, I've noticed of late that I've lost that violent anti-brown sentiment. In the past few weeks I've been looking at brown clothes with interest, and finally on Sunday, the unthinkable happened. I bought a brown shirt. I don't think anyone will comprehend what a big deal this is, so I'm not going to try and explain, but to me it's the dawn of a new era.

I looked up the significance of the colour, and this was one of the things I found:

It is a protective colour, but you may be bottling up emotion or a secret that makes you retreat into your shell and fear the outside world; thus you feel protected by wearing brown or muddy colour.

All lies! I'm not retreating into my shell or fearing the outside world. Bring it on, I say. Bring it on! I will whack you with my rolled up new brown shirt!

The downside is I'll have to think up a new name for my autobiography.

Cogito Ergo Dumb

Humans are flawed.
They hurt each other.
They don't know anything apart from themselves.
They don't give a shit.
No that's not right. They can't give a shit.
Cos they're human.
I don't like humans.
I don't want to be human.

Rock on, why don't you

I've seen almost every musical ever made - from West Side Story to Flashdance; from Singing in the Rain to Hello Dolly; from Breakdance to Dirty Dancing; from The Doors to Ray. Hindi films don't count, cos even a horror film is a musical, but I went to see Rock On, and hello! I loved it! It was fun and normal and feel good. The music isn't amazing, but I kinda like Farhan Akhtar's strange voice and sometimes off-key singing. And I wouldn't be a woman rock music nut if I didn't swoon at the sight of Arjun Rampal going into a guitar solo with his waist-length hair blowing in the breeze! Oh drooool!

The movie reminded me of my crazy teen years in Calcutta where my friends and I would chase every concert in the city. We'd go in groups of 15 or more and nothing was more important than knowing the words so we could screech the chorus out at the top of our lungs. I still haven't lost this habit, btw. When I'm driving alone, I have the windows up so I can yell out along with whatever cd is playing. It's people from this same group that call me everytime a movie like Rock On comes along, and we reminisce about the time we were "cat", which is Calcuttese for hip.

PS: The old dude in the pic is as much a rock star as anyone - he played this great rock and roll tune with that guitar balanced on his forehead!

18 Till I Die Trying

People who know me well are aware that I have a big thing about growing old. It's my worst nightmare and I will never ever ever age gracefully. I'll go cos I have to go, but I'll go kicking and screaming, and biting and punching.

But what really really gets me is how people I think look way older than me are either the same age as me, or - hold your breath - younger !! How can they be younger? How? They look like old hags! Or geezers! So then I go around terribly offended. It's bad enough that women like Sharon Stone are in their 50s and look 20 years younger, but I can at least console myself with the thought of the million ccs of Botox they've used so far. But these folks being my age - what the dutch chocolate is that all about? So what then? I look as old as them? I should be hanging out with them, but I am in denial about my age and insist on piling on to the young crowd? What? What? Argh!

This takes away all the malicious glee I felt when I went to my high school reunion and found that many of my batchmates were distinctly beginning to grey, while my hair was as dark as a raven's wing. (tee hee)

You may miss the bride

So my cousin-in-law got married this month and a good time was had by all. This was the first Punju wedding I attended since I left Cal, and oye, was it fun! There was singing, dancing, eating, and even a little adventure.

What else would you call sneaking the bride into the wedding venue after the baraat had already danced its way in? Here's how it came to pass...

My cousin-in-law has never been crazy about clothes and make up, so underestimated the time she would need to get all brided up. As a result, she was late to her own wedding, and almost tailgated the groom on his white horse. Apparently its not good for her to be seen walking in late, so 3 of us women were dispatched to form a human shield around her as she attempted to make a rapid get-in.

Easier said than done when she's wearing an 5000 watt outfit, and the kaliras hanging from her wrist jingle louder than a warden's cell keys. So she was seen by the wives of her soon-to-be husband's friends, and by an elderly gentleman from the groom's side (who actually helped us bring her in.)

She was also seen by the 50 odd guests seated in front of the mandap 2 hours ahead of schedule.

What they were doing there when the rest of the folks were shaking shoulders to authentic bhangra music I don't know! But the main thing is that neither the groom nor his parents caught her illegal entry, so it was AOK.

I'm waiting for the happy couple to return from their honeymoon so I can find out if she's confessed her misadventures to her husband. I hope she has cos I can't wait to rib him about it.

While on the subject of weddings, I have to tell you about this woman I met recently who got divorced after 18 years of marriage. Her oldest daughter is 22. The reason this is extraordinary is that the said woman looks all of 30-32 years old. Not a line on her face, and a real cool attitude. She was also quite a few drinks down cos she kissed me when I said she looked 22. This was the first time we met. Quite forward to kiss on the first date, dontcha think? I shd clarify that it was my cheek she kissed.