Please repeat it again

I used to want to do voice overs for American cartoons, but now I think the Indian animation industry needs me more. Have you seen the animated films about Krishna or Hanuman, etc? Or more importantly, have you heard them? "Heeyer I am, mother. I waas eeating butt-ter behind the pautts."
I am appalled each time I hear the dubbing; and by not volunteering my services, I think I'm ignoring the horrific future of the nation's children who will grow up speaking like this.
But let's do a quick reality check. The last time I said "Take the left at the T-junction", the response was "Dedden left?" (dead-end left)
So let me accept that my efforts would be a mere drop in the mighty ocean. And after all, it's not how a person speaks, but what he/she says that is important. (HMPH!)

A Flying F@#$

This post is an excuse for me to let forth a stream of invective! What's the deal with these ridiculous airfares? Bangalore-Kolkata has always been the most expensive sector in the country, but in the last couple of years I have managed to get return tickets for about 7k. BUT NOW, WTF, the cheapest ticket costs more than 7 k one way! I scrounged many rupees together this month and booked my passage for the pujas, and thought I was done for the year. But then something came up and I had to look up Kolkata-Hyd-Kolkata fares. Cheapest fare 10.5 k! In the good old days of affordable air travel, the Rahul Dhawan has actually done this in under 2k. Hurts like hell. The only thing that could cause more pain would be to miss a non-refundable flight because of the traffic-jammed 40km distance that I now have to travel to get to the new improved Bengaluru International Airport!

Temporary Tattoos Forever

A few years ago I was dying to get a tattoo. I even walked into a place that does it in Bombay, but left cos they were too busy. I wanted a tree on my ankle. Don't ask me why. I just did. Then that changed to wanting a broken heart somewhere above my heart. Then it was the Egyptian eye on my shoulder blade.
A tattoo, I've heard, is a way of expressing oneself. I believe it, but refuse to take it at face value. Meaning, I don't believe that people who get death's heads permanently imprinted on them are necessarily evil and scary. They might be *bleep* scared of dying, which is why they choose a skull as a way of thumbing their nose at the grim reaper. Or those who get their partners' names tattooed on various parts of their bodies. Does this mean they'd be eternally in love with them? Ha! No way! Remember Johnny Depp? And Angelina Jolie? Both had to get their tattoos altered/removed when they moved on from their relationships. This brings me to the big question about the Saif. Now that he has करीना on his arm, what does he do when he has to romance the women in his movies? Wear a prosthetic?
OK back to expressing oneself. I finally never got a tattoo. I realized it was a permanent expression of a transient part of you, and I don't want to have to carry the burden of a damn fool phase for the rest of my life. Besides, I don't do pain. Yet.

Diplomatic Immunity

I got caught in the downpour on Saturday when I was returning home in a rick. You know how these things are - nothing on the sides to shield you. So by the time I reached home, my arms were completely wet, my skirt was damp from the rain splashing on the seats, and I was shivering like a malariac (nice word, what) from the icy coldness of it all.
Well, there's more - I was running a raging fever by nightfall, with a headache as intense as Irrfan Khan in Maqbool. How I suffered! But trust my mom to burst my injured bubble. "I thought only kids got fever from the rain", she said. "Don't you have any immunity at all?" Since it was a rhetorical question, I ignored it. Not that I wasn't prepared for her reaction. It's always been this way, right since adolescence. My sister and I learned to defend our illnesses with great valour, and always wore her down in the end, when she was forced to be the Florence owl (never nightingale!). To be fair, I must say we even caught a worried frown on her face from time to time.
But this was clearly not one of those times.
She refused to come visit me unless I absolutely needed her! Ha!

Reflection

Mirror, mirror on the wall

What's the biggest problem of them all

Wrinkles, bags, shadows, grey

Frown lines that deepen everyday

The mirror remains silent and clear

The voices that clamour

Are my own fears

No wrinkle, no bags, no shadow, no grey

Can keep you from flying

Or your dreams take away

I do that myself

In my bid for a future

That's safe and secure

No risk nor adventure

Forgetting the eagle

The river, the mountain

Securing my shackles

To divine intervention

I kiss goodbye

To a wild wondrous nature

And search in the mirror

For signs of aging

Perfect-Imperfect

We were taught to make gratitude lists at a relationship workshop I once attended. I totally agree with the concept behind this - when you list the things you are truly grateful for, you realize how much you have been given in this life.

Today, however, is not one of the days that I want to list what I've been given. I always do that. Today I want to count the things I want that I don't have. And I don't mean a penthouse suite, or a Mercedes Benz. I'm talking about deeper, more meaningful things. But I can't list them here cos I don't want the world to know what I don't have. I'd rather have everyone think I have everything, cos it embarrasses me to be found lacking, or inadequate, or to be pitied, or to be thought vulnerable.

And in this way I advance in my own head the myth of the perfect me.