NatGeo has the best programmes. Was watching one on vampires last night. Since I missed the first part, I'm unsure of whether the extended canines were fake or real. But these people drink blood. They actually do. And they procure their supply not by hunting down some innocent (but voluptuous) maiden - rather, by going to the local butcher store. OK I made that last bit up, but come on, how else? I heard one shiny haired, pasty faced, long toothed drac say that vampires who attack people for blood should be locked up. So my guess that this guy goes to Cutts the butcher may not be way off the mark.
So I was curled up on the sofa with a cushion to hide behind if necessary, listening to the hoarsely whispered descriptions of the dead undead when a huge bat flew into my living room! I swear it did. I screeeeeeaaaamed! Oh my god I have never been so spooked. I thought it had come to get me, and did I mention that the bloody thing (pun unintended) was HUGE?! I was so worried the stupid ass bat would hit the fan and be torn into bits and splatter all over me! I somehow managed to switch the fan off and run into the bedroom when it flew to the other end of the hall. But not before I heard the husband say very calmly "Relax." Relax! Relax he says! He who runs from flying cockroaches a fraction of the size of the bat the size of a cow tells me to relax! Hmph!
Thankfully the stupid bat flew out pretty soon. Dumb ass!
My building is a wild place. First mosquitoes, now bats! If the pests get any larger I'm moving out.
Btw, the husband always says that he doesn't think the flat has positive energy. The previous tenants moved out in 4 months, but we were told they wanted to go back to Delhi cos the dude wanted his old job back. But now I'm not so sure. Maybe a moth terrorised them!
2 comments:
D's law of relaxation: People will always tell you to relax when you CAN'T.
BTW, this reminds me of the time when a snake got in my apartment and sat atop the books on the bookshelf. I had been NOT watching a special on snakes on this same channel you mention. If there is a special on snakes and I catch sight of it, I change channels. I am an expert on snakes- I've unwatched hundreds of such documentaries.
he he he har har...thats me actually rolling on the (office) floor laughing, in my snorting-cappuchino-through-my-nose moment... at ur "bat flew in when u were watching drac programme" blog...
brilliant... i NEEDED that laugh...
btw, ven ve mit uph?
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